Response to Opinion of 88 Greenwich AKA the Douchebag Dormitory

September 30, 2008 at 11:23 pm (88Greenwich, Buttonwood Real Estate, douche, Douche Of The Day, Douchebag Dormitory, Greenwich Club Residences, New York, Wall Street) (, , , , , )

I found this review of the Douchebag Dormitory AKA 88 Greenwich Street AKA Greenwich Club Residences today:

Lots of potential, mediocre execution
From: -Anonymous-
Date posted: 9/6/2008
Years at this apartment: 2008 – 2008

I recently moved into a large 1 bedroom unit at 88 Greenwich, and I have some reservations about the decision.

At first blush, the building seemed like exactly what I wanted; a condo building with good amenities and top quality furnishings. And while the building amenities are indeed very impressive (the common areas are beautiful and the staff is very friendly), and the apartments have Viking/Subzero appliances, there are some things that bring the experience down for me.

For one thing, I’ve discovered that while this building is indeed a condo development, most of the units are studios or small one bedrooms, which are used as rentals. This inevitably attracts a set of people which are not what you’d expect from an upscale building (college kids, first year i-bank associates, frat boys doing shares), and this hurts the image greatly. There are also a few apartments used as model dorms, and while that provides great eye candy on occasion, the girls are usually loud and obnoxious european children with little or no consideration for the other residents.

On the weekend evenings, the harbor room (main common area) is usually packed with immature fratty kids drinking cans of PBR and being generally obnoxious. Not the upscale scene described by the real estate people.

There also seems to be an inordinate number of europeans in general, which is fine, except they all seem to absolutely refuse to speak english in the common areas. It is beyond rude and extremely antisocial.

Overall, I’m happy with my apartment, but wish the building was not populated as it seems to be. Unfortunately, it seems to be in danger of becoming a more upscale 2 Gold Street, which should be something that the owners and management company should be very, very concerned about.

The stereotyping of all “college kids, first year i-bank associates, frat boys doing shares” is too simplistic, although most certainly true in most cases.  I’ve also encountered some bitchy passive aggressive trophy wives, their douchey Wall Street middle management husbands, and “the stroller mafia” of young parents who let their kids loose in common areas and park their strollers filled with their crying Aryan spawn in the middle of common area hallways, so don’t just blame the kids!

If you care that much about an exclusive high end atmosphere, perhaps some posh co-op would have suited you better.  Or move to a gated community in the the fucking suburbs and buy a gun.

And what’s the reviewer’s thing against Europeans?  Why should people not speak their own language if they aren’t talking to YOU?  Stupid ignorant American, why don’t you go learn another language.  I suggest Chinese, since they own your asses already.  Or how about Spanish?  That way you can beg for mercy when America’s Hispanic working class revolts and has your white ass against the wall.  That will be the true Reconquista of AmeriKKKa.

Can’t wait for the upcoming economic apocalypse. Maybe that will cut down on the Wall Street douchebaggery in NY and signal the return of knife-wielding tranning hookers to cut yo’ faces.


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Activism at 88 Greenwich

August 14, 2008 at 8:25 am (88Greenwich, Buttonwood Real Estate, Commentary, Douchebag Dormitory, Greenwich Club Residences, New York) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Apparently, there has been a colorful history of resident activism at the Douchbag Dormitory AKA 88 Greenwich AKA Greenwich Club Residences:

Letter from 88 Greenwich: No Fun in the FiDi?

Tenant-Landlord Battles Heat Up Downtown

John Januz Reinstatement

Community Activism: Battling the 88 Greenwich Board & Management Company

And here is a douche-a-licious article about the building from the NY Post: TO FIDI FOR.

There is also a colorful Greenwich Club Owners forum on Yahoo Groups.  Unfortunately, it looks like the posts are private now.

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Welcome to the Douchebag Dormitory

April 17, 2008 at 9:22 pm (Douchebag Dormitory, New York, Wall Street) (, , , , , )

In the wind-swept corridors of lower Manhattan, there is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to all decent peoples, as vast as space, as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between the FDR and West Side Highway, between boundless irrationality and the sobriety of fundamental analysis, and it lies in the pregnant gap between man’s failures and the summit of his trading success.

It is an area which we call the Douchebag Dormitory, home to an eclectic band of derivative analysts, ivy-league underachievers, and desperate socio-educational climbers. This is a place of congress for society’s outcast, a gilded wonderland of floor lights, lazy doormen, and institutionally-controlled ambience music.

The lights are much brighter there; you can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares, so go DOWNTOWN: where all the lights are bright, DOWNTOWN: waiting for you tonight, DOWNTOWN: you’re gonna be alright, now.

Just take the 1 to Rector, but ignore those sinister directives about being in the first five cars. Surface at great risk to your innocence and you will see The Four Corners of American indulgence, featuring the confluence of carnal lust (Pussycat Lounge…”what’s new?”), gluttony (dios mio!), consumerism (“An informed consumer is our best customer”) and, to top it all off, the towering monument to Wall Street bravado that is The Dorm.

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